mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
