Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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