the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
