Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
