I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
