I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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