Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
