dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
