i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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