I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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