There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
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