dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
