I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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