Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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