I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
