I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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