I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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