the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
