Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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