Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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