I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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