I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
