Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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