in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
