Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
