It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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