Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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