Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
