How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
