Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He told me they were just razor bumps!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I would fuck him just for his dog
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
