just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
