dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
