Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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