ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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