THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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