so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
