Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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