Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize