I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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