Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
