Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
