If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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