He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
