Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
