hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
