Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
her vagine was all disorganized.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
