Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
