Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
