I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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