so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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